Pretending to read books

Here's one more thing I just don't get. Electronic books. A screen you read words from. Yes, they're the same words and it doesn't involve being mean to trees, but they're not books. A book is a papery thing with pages that you can turn. Something that you can keep. Having a library contained on a little computer is pretty depressing. My main complaint is that they just don't feel right. You can flick through books. Smell the pages (if you're like me). Feel one side get heavier than the other as you read it. A new book is white and shiny. As you read them they become dog-eared and creased. They go slightly yellow over time. Books are something to have on a shelf. This might all sound as if I like the paper more than the words. Maybe I do. I'm sick like that.

I'm sure the same argument could be made for music. People used to have loads of CDs. That's alright though. I can still buy deluxe edition Sigur Rós albums. Everyone's happy. Now Steve Jobs is showing off an iPad that can store all the novels in the world. In his own words: 'It's terrific, you can go into portrait and see both pages if you'd like.' Thanks Steve. I don't want to read things off a plastic slab though. I want people to cut down trees to make paper for millions of books that will never be read so that I can have a few that I like on my shelf. That sounds good to me.

Before you do that, watch this

Whatever you're going to do in the next few minutes - eating, drinking, watching television, making an origami cat, writing the sixth episode of a web series - watch this first. Loud. Full screen. That's better.

Is Heroes boring?

I watched the first season of Heroes. It seemed alright. Then it forced me out through The Amnesia Rule. If a character suddenly loses their memory, and I have to watch them try to remember things that I already know for five episodes, then I can't be bothered. So I stopped watching it in season two. I've seen a few episodes since then and they've all seemed pretty dull. And now I've seen a bit of season four, and, from what I can tell, not much has changed. The mother of the two brothers still looks a bit manipulative and sly and there's still a man in big glasses having a moral dilemma.

It's the sort of show that can literally make it up as it goes along. Any sort of problem can be solved by introducing a new 'hero' that has a special power. 'How will we know which direction the boat went in? We are stuck now.' 'Yes, hopefully we will meet someone who has the ability to talk to fish.' That might not have happened, but that's the impression I get from it. And dead isn't dead. Where's the drama in a character's death if they just get resurrected twenty minutes later by magic healing blood? Or maybe they can wait two seasons until they find someone who can bring back the dead. Nothing has any consequences. Is there any rules to this world?

Like I said, I've missed a lot of it. And even though I'm never going to watch it again, I'd sort of like to know that I'm wrong and that this expensive-looking show that millions of people watch is quite good. Or I will continue to be cynical.

I'm art now

Talk to Hoshuu is now officially art. No, really. It's in an art exhibition this weekend. That makes it art. It's going to be playing on a loop on a wall. Surrounded by paintings. And photography. And stuff. It's all a bit fancy, but now there'll be plenty of people to stare at it in a mildly interested sort of way. So if you're in Aberystwyth this weekend, which you probably aren't, go and have a look. There's a vernissage tonight. I had to look that word up. I have no idea about these things. It probably involves wine and smartly dressed people. Neither of which I like. But I'm art now, and that's a good thing.

To prove that I'm not, you know, making this up, I've attached the poster and my page from the catalogue. Shiny.

A prop seen from a distance