How to infiltrate a film festival

I submitted Talk to Hoshuu to a film festival. It wasn't accepted. I couldn't get in through the front door so I snuck in using a cunning disguise. I became staff. One of the volunteers who has to keep the whole thing going. I didn't win any awards but I did get to look important. Strut around the place with a pass and hope nobody expects to actually know anything about the festival. And the thought occurred to me, while sitting in a dimly lit projection room, that I could easily pop my own film into the DVD player. Nobody would notice. They'd just think it was part of the 'International Experimental' screening. I didn't, because I didn't have it on me, and because I'm not, you know, evil. I was showing some pretty good shorts, nobody needed to be confused by mine.

I also got to sit in on the awards ceremony that I wasn't part of. After standing by the doors for a bit I went in and sat at the back. Interesting but also a bit subdued. The amount of people who don't turn up to collect their own award is a bit confusing. Especially since it's a big shiny transparent glassy thing. All deserving winners but not as good as mine. I'm joking, Of course I'm joking. Yes.